Dildo Review – Kitalpha by Paladin Pleasure Sculptors

Introduction

Kitalpha is an equine style fantasy silicone dildo from Paladin Pleasure Sculptors—We’ll just call them PPS for short. Now that we’re done shortening their name it’s time to say more about PPS, a tradition when we review our first toy from any shop. PPS is firmly in the indie silicone toy maker camp, obviously a favorite market of ours. As of the time of writing their first year anniversary seems dumbfoundingly close, as they were founded just last summer(2020). Linda in particular is active in several community spaces including twitter. Linda is responsive, polite, kind, and that reflects in our experience as customers with PPS. I however have made an oopsie. Had I not broken my rules about talking about things before I do them (it’s an aspiration, I can’t seem to stop shooting myself in the foot this way) the following wouldn’t be warranted, but I did so it is. Linda, I owe you an apology for sitting on this for a good half a year now, I am sorry. With that out of the way, it’s on to the star of the show, better late than never.

Kitalpha is one of the few toys we’ve purchased in shore 10A and it joins a rather exclusive list of firm toys in the warchest. 10A seemed like a good fit for a few reasons. The length to girth ratio meant that we weren’t butting up on girth limitations and the extra stability gained would basically be ‘free’. The curve of the top part of the shaft, along with the texture of the head might be muted by softer silicone. The curve spoke “g-spotter” to us and making that firmer would help it do that job. We’re also suckers for rainbow pours and this one delights us and is pretty representative of the type of pours you can expect to see from PPS. On that note, it’s image gallery time.

How it plays

While all the features of the Kitalpha are well thought out and effective, the geometry that steals the show for us is located right at the blunt head, which is ringed by pronounced bumps. The sensation is intense and especially in 10A. For us that puts our Kitalpha squarely into low texture/intense geometry. You could shrink the size or soften the shore rating to make that head less intense for sure. Making such a change would be great if you need the thrusting/intensity balance a little more on the comfort side. Strongly consider this if you are not looking for an intentionally intense experience the way we were. Like seriously we wanted sore and got it, if that isn’t you step down to at least 00-50. On a similar note, I wouldn’t push size limits with this design.

Whether or not the curve was oriented anterior or posterior made a huge difference in sensation so definitely explore a bit and see which you prefer. That’s something you may not be at liberty to do if you test your size limits. The medial ring is placed relatively higher up when compared to our other equine toys which makes this feature reasonably accessible to us for the first time. Bonus points for that. The base is smooth and flat resulting in a stable toy that handles hands free jobs like a champ—the selection of 10A enhances this a lot. This enables the base to be a nice size that doesn’t contribute too much weight to the toy while still providing a good purchase.

physical dimensions/size options

Quick Reminder: D-score is a measurement that essentially gives us the number of median sized dicks to equal the girth of a toy. You can read D-Score more easily as “This is how many dicks this is worth in girth”. So a D-Score of 2.5 would be 2 and a half dicks of girth, to make it simple. We’re moving this to D sized batteries soon but in the mean time.

SizeHeightUseable LengthMax CircumferenceD-Score
Small6.75″5.75″5″1.2
Medium8″6.75″6″1.7
Large9.75″8.25″7.5″2.7
XL12.75″10.75″9.25″4.1

purchasing experience

Customs are offered from time to time but if they’re closed(such as the time of this writing) fear not, regular inventory is frequently available. Our Kitalpha was acquired from existing inventory and it wasn’t even a drop day so don’t worry about the availability of pretty pours. Our order shipped in a timely manner and arrived quickly. A Large Kitalpha such as ours runs $100 even and a medium can be had for $70. I almost hate to write this next line because it isn’t limited to PPS. This kinda feels too inexpensive for what you’re getting. I’m not going to armchair though, if $100 for the large continues to work for them kudos, it certainly works for me! The only thing I have to say in the negative here is that firmness and size use similar enough terms that they can be read backwards in the medium softness, for example small medium or large medium. The first is size and the second is firmness, always.

final words

It seems to me that PPS’s unerringly beautiful pours stand out so much that not enough is said about the fantastic sculpts or accessible pricing. Kitalpha’s design is a lesson in how to effectively use simple features in the right places to accomplish amazing functionality. This is one of those models you buy more than once, and we certainly intend to.

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