Dildo Review – The Dragon from Goblin Dildo Emporium

[Affiliate Link Disclosure: I have affiliate links for Goblin Dildo Emporium. These earn me a small commission on sales made through my links. However, I did not receive this toy for free, I paid for it, and I paid for it before this affiliate program even existed, same with the tentacle. It is demonstrable that we were fans of Goblin’s work long before the program existed]

Today we’re reviewing another dildo from Goblin Dildo Emporium—It’s the Dragon! We actually picked this toy up very close to its launch, so this review is going to contain a little extra information over months of use. We got ours in medium size.

I’m going to lead off with the thing that surprised me and Emily the most about this toy—the craftsmanship and finish. The Dragon is absolutely stunning in quality. As reviewers Emily and I tend to look for the smallest blemishes, the tiniest nit picks and, we couldn’t find any. The pour is fanastically executed, with a no-trim base, no material trapped between small details, a smooth even finish, and vibrant pearlescent color. On the note of color, when it came out color selection was limited, but now you have a lot of options for your top and bottom color. If you are used to being able to custom order 4 color marbles with UV and GITD powders you might not be so warm on being limited to two colors in a predictable pour pattern but this toy is damn gorgeous.

So how did it play? Well, not to replicate what the pictures can show you too much, I would consider this a good jack of all trades dildo for those starting out in the fantasy genre. It has a variety of features but none of them are extremely pronounced. The head has a moderate triple coronal ridge. The toy gradually tapers larger as you go down. There are gentler ridges on either side of the shaft. As you reach the bottom of the shaft a slightly pronounced knot-like feature raises the girth and the challenge, but nowhere near as drastically as a full knot would. In other words, this toy includes a gentle introduction to most of the features present in fantasy genre designs and is useful for exploring preferences. Emily did find the head a tad pokey so if you have a sensitive cervix this might not be for you. If triangular heads don’t bother you, it’s definitely a plus for making the toy easier to insert vaginally and anally. Oh, back to the knot, Emily was able to feel the slight veining texture on the knot, this is a buff. Let’s drop in the ole size chart, there’s some interesting things going on here.

ModelUsable LengthDiameter of HeadDiameter of shaftHead D-ScoreShaft D-Score
Small5.8″1.42.1.92.1
Medium7.5″1.82.81.53.7
Large9.4″2.23.42.35.4

Quick Reminder: D-score is a measurement that essentially gives us the number of median sized dicks to equal the girth of a toy. You can read D-Score more easily as “This is how many dicks this is worth in girth”. So a D-Score of 2.5 would be 2 and a half dicks of girth, to make it simple.

So let’s take a closer look at our medium, because I want to use that to say some things about the small. By the time you hit the knot feature, which is pretty deep at a usable length of 7.5″, you’re getting into 4-dicks-at-once territory. This may be responsible for the ‘pokey’ feeling Emily is talking about and may be even more pronounced if you try and tackle the large. On the flip side of this however, if you take a look at the small it isn’t exactly, small. It’s just not huge. Medium could be considered huge and Large definitely is. You’re still getting to 2-dicks-at-once sized on the knot on the small, and it’s a more accessible knot at 5.8″ in length. In context of my observation earlier that all the ‘try it out’ sized features on this toy lend themselves to a use case in which the user might still be trying to figure out what toy features they like, the small might be the better way to go. It is possible however, that you’re already accustomed to large sizes but you’ve just not jumped into the fantasy dildo space yet. I think Medium is a dead ringer for that. The Large? I’m not sure. We’d have to grab one, but the size chart alone tells me that if we’re feeling slight pokeyness now, we’ll just be feeling that before we ever reach the knot on the large. Seems to me the large might be better for very experienced anal users, and I mean, very experienced. I’m not sure vaginal users can utilize it properly.

That takes us to price. Now, at the time of this review there’s a 20% off winter sale going on and if your patient, Goblin seems to find a lot of excuses to have 20% off sales. I’m just throwing it out there that it’s a good time to buy currently. But lets take a look at the normal and sale prices.

The normal price of a medium Dragon is $97.50, which is not a small chunk of change. However, it’s most direct competitor based on the design, size-chart, and Emily’s vaginal memory, is the Spritz from bad Dragon, and if you want that in it’s very plain, but still good looking, signature or natural you’ll be paying between $105-$125 dollars. So between the very similar sizing, a similar enough design, and similar price brackets I’d say these two are more or less direct competitors. Goblin’s Dragon comes with some customizable coloration options at its base price point, limited as they are, it’s still worth noting because a basic 2 color custom fade on medium Spritz raises you to $130. Any of these options with Spritz come with a potential wait time of 11 weeks to boot. If that weren’t enough to hand Goblin the advantage, especially for the newcomers this toy seems designed for, the current sale price is $62.50 and Goblin frequently runs inventory wide sales. Bad Dragon does not. Now, we owned a legacy spritz in the past, and the new one looks even better. It is not a bad toy at all and we enjoyed the hell out of it and some may prefer the design differences. We feel the trade-offs are too high at this moment in time.

Getting back to beginners, there’s much less price separation at the small size category, but it’s still notable. At normal prices, 62.50 vs. 75-100+ with all the caveats noted above. However, the 20% off sale brings that down to $44 dollars and that is a hefty gap. On that note $44 dollars is the top end of where I consider a toy being newbie budget friendly, and that cutoff is 50 bucks. These would be harder decisions to make if GDE’s fit and finish weren’t as good if not arguably better than Bad Dragon’s and didn’t have a massive wait time and customization-at-base-price advantage. Solid wins for Goblin here, even if you completely ignore the sales.

So, if you’ve read this review and decided you want to take the Dragon for a ride, please support us by using this link to make your purchase. You can also save 10% on all purchases over $60 with our promo code WELCOME60-AFTERTHEYES. If you’ve decided that the Dragon isn’t for you, well we just saved you even more money, and that’s fantastic.

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